A Thin Line Between Love and Hate
by DemonRyu
Summary: Keep your friends close, but your enemies even closer. But are you supposed to fall in love with them? (S/S-complete :Arc 1)
1. Thin line between Love and Hate

"A thin line between love and hate"  
  
  
It had been a few hours since the Garden had flown over Balamb. Seifer still sat on the edge of the dock, legs dangling over the side. It made him feel young again, somehow. Perhaps because his first home had been near water. The sun was starting to set, so beautiful hues of color bathed the sky and sea. On the outmost edge, pink which deepened to a more fiery red. Dancing around that were the blues and purples.   
In the middle of it, the ball of spun gold that was the sun. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.   
  
Beautiful, haunting... lonely. Sunsets were meant to be shared with someone you cared about, but he didn't have that. Friends, yes but a lover? No, even Rinoa hadn't been that to him, though she had fancied herself in love. He had just provided the bad boyfriend she had needed, at the time. He wondered if he had ever felt anything, other then hate. Hate for Squall. Even now, his grip tightened around the handle of his fishing pole. Squall, his rival. The only one worthy of such honor. A fellow gunblade wielder and the back knight to his white.  
  
Even Zell, who he had loved to torment, broke too easily. Squall however, would just look at him with those eyes. And then mutter, "Whatever." Seifer had never been able to get past Squall's defenses, except the day that they had dueled. The day they had given each other matching scars, something that would forever mark them as rivals… Seifer now wondered why he had disliked Squall so much. Not because Quistis had fawned over him, he hadn't liked her in that way. Perhaps it had been that maddening aloofness. He had wanted something from the younger boy, some sort of emotion. Quistis wanted his love; Seifer just wanted a reaction. He had gotten it; it now stood out on his face.   
  
A smile graced his lips again, as he thought over the emotions that had flashed across Squall's face when he was struggling to get back up. It faded though, as he remembered the anger and hate that had flashed in his eyes when he returned that one stroke of the blade. At the creak of a board, Seifer turned. Lost in thought or no, he was a trained Seed. And he still had reflexes like a cat.  
  
However, the person that was standing there, floored him. His gaze rested on that damned lion pendent, before moving up to meet silver eyes. Squall stood there, silently. Seifer scowled. Again, that silence. It rankled his nerves. He hadn't been as quiet when he had been about to throw Rinoa to Adel.   
"Come to gloat, Squall? Get it over with, then."  
One brown brow lifted, perhaps in amusement. With Squall, one could never tell. Then a slow shake of the head, followed by Squall sitting next to him. Seifer waited, tensing. Squall was sitting next to him, unarmed. This was slightly surreal.   
  
"I came..." A pause. "To invite you back to Garden."  
Seifer's lips twitched, he couldn't help it. Squall frowned, wondering what was so funny. Seifer threw his head back, laughing. At both the puzzlement in Squall's eyes and what he had just said.  
"I don't find anything..."  
  
"Oh, but I do." Seifer had stopped laughing, abruptly, and then cut into Squall's speech. "I am a failed Cadet, a failed Knight, a failed everything. And yet here you are, inviting me back. This is a great joke Squall, and sending you to do the asking was the clincher. I'm not going back."  
"Why?"  
Seifer paused in his act of getting up, and glanced to look back at the sun. It was hugging the ocean, and blackness had started to overtake the color. How like his life had been after becoming a Knight. His only wish to serve her. He saw nothing but black and white. No color, nothing.  
  
"I..." Squall waited, though he did not know why. He also didn't know what had posessed him to ask Seifer back. Nor how he knew he'd be in Balamb. He had just felt, that he needed to seek him out.  
"I can't go to a place where I am not wanted. A place that I tried to destroy, a place that holds..."  
  
"Nothing but hurt." Squall finished for him. "Nothing but the feeling of being alone."  
Seifer turned to look at him, in a bit of shock. No one had ever gotten to the core of his being so thoroughly before. Even Fujin and Raijin, his two closest copanions didn't know that.   
"I feel the same. The garden holds nothing but pain for me. Which no one can ease."  
  
"Even Rinoa?" Seifer asked, smirking. Squall nodded his eyes now on the edge of the sun. It was barely visible now, and twilight was upon them. The moon wasn't fully out yet, so it was a state of suspended motion. Between day and night. Between white and black.   
"Even Rinoa. I care for her, but not in that way. Although, I did make a promise to her."  
  
"Which was..." Seifer prompted, interested.   
"To be her Knight. I suppose in time, I could care for her as she wishes..." He turned, facing Seifer.  
"You were about to let her go, but then when I called her name - you threw her to her Adel. Why?"  
Seifer's eyes widened. Of all the questions Squall could have asked, he wasn't expecting that one. Worse, he didn't have an answer... or did he? Jealous of Squall... or could he have been jealous over Squall? No, where had that thought come from? He hated Squall! Hated, with a passion!   
  
"I heard somewhere, that there is a thin line between love and hate, Seifer. I believe it was a song."  
"Wh- what are you trying to say?"  
"I know your pain, because I've felt it. We are two shades of one person; Quistis was overly fond of telling me. In-between her attempts of hitting on me." Squall's lips actually twitched after that remark, and Seifer blinked. "I'm inviting you back because I need you, Seifer. You've been the thing that has driven me, for as long as I have known."  
He then fell silent, waiting. This was the last chance he would offer Seifer. If he refused again, that was it.   
  
"You, who always ignored me... want me back. To become what... Squall? Your rival again? I'm tired of..."  
Squall cut him off, by holding up a hand. "Fine. You said, someday I'd thank you for being able to take on anyone. I thank you. Because of you, I was able to defeat you."  
  
Squall began to push himself up. "I don't know why I bothered..."  
Seifer's hand shout out, grabbing a fistful of shirt. He jerked Squall towards him, so close that their noses were nearly brushing.   
"Just what did you want me to say? Yes, I'll gladly walk back into the lion's den? I don't think so. You claim you need me, but that's bullshit. You're ice, Squall ... you need nothing and no one."  
  
He then released his shirt. However, Squall didn't move back. Instead, he leaned forward- his lips brushing Seifer's ear as he whispered to him, "No... but you need someone. You need me."  
And with that, he leaned back. Then he rose, the Griever pendent glittering in the moonlight.   
  
"If you want to find me, you know where to look. But I won't come searching for you again. A lion has pride." A ghost of a smile flitted over Squall's lips, and then he turned to walk away. Seifer watched as he left then turned to look out over the sea again. The moon was full, it's silver form reflected in the dark blue of the water.   
However, he didn't see the moon- he instead saw a pair of gray eyes.  
  
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A/N- I don't own any of the characters, they belong to Squaresoft. This my first attempt at shounen ai, so please bear with me. Oh yea, and if you're going to leave a really dumb review, I'll laugh.   
This is for my Proof-Reader, Desi-Chan. Thanks, girlie. ^^   



	2. 

Love lives, love dies  
Love bites, love bleeds  
It's bringin' me to my knees   
  
  
The next morning:  
  
Seifer groaned as sunlight filtered through the window, and hit his eyes. He pulled his pillow over his head, blocking out the light. After Squall's visit, he had trouble falling asleep. And even after he had- he'd dreamed. Of Squall. That was bothersome. Usually when he dreamed of Squall, he had been reliving the moment of his triumph. But this time, he was kissing him.  
~Damnit, it must be some odd aftershock. Time compression and all that.~  
  
However, his attempt to fall back to sleep was thwarted. Fujin snatched the pillow away, and prodded him with a finger.  
"Seifer. Wake." A muttered reply.  
"NOW!" Another prod, not so gentle. Seifer's eyelids opened, revealing bloodshot eyes. Fujin frowned. "Drinking?"  
"No.. late night visit..."  
He struggled to sit up, and placed a hand to his forehead. His head was throbbing, and Fujin glaring at him was *not* helping.  
"Who?"  
"Squall."   
  
Fujin sighed, and sat next to him, taking his other hand.  
"Seifer..." She paused, then lapsed into normal speech. Although it was easier to get her point across with "rage!" and a kick, Seifer needed more then that. Kicking Squall wouldn't help him. Although she would like to see him hop around, howling with pain.  
"You dreamed of him, last night. Didn't you?"  
Seifer nodded, eyes half-lidded. He wanted nothing more then to crawl back into bed. To close the blinds, and sleep a dreamless sleep.  
"Different then last time. When you were the victor. What did he say to you, Seifer?"  
"I.. Hyne.. Fujin... I kissed him."  
  
Fujin's eye widened. Then she laughed. Seifer frowned. He had been expecting RAGE! and her promising to kick Squall's ass.  
"S' not funny, Fuu. I was kissing.. a guy! And not just any guy, Squall! The man who has been a thorn in my side..."  
Fujin shook her head, and squeezed his hand.   
"I am sorry, Seifer. It is not a laughing matter, but I do wonder why you didn't see it earlier."  
"See what?"  
  
Ach, Seifer was a friend. But he was also blonde.. and dense sometimes. She could forgive him for that - he was a man. Her smile faded, as once again the stern Fujin facade had returned.  
"Squall likes you. You like him, yet you could not admit it."  
Seifer scowled. "I do *not* like him, Fuu."  
  
"No?" One silver brow lifted. Damn, she could be so like Squall sometimes. Was she amused, or concerned? It was hard to tell. When she had laughed, that was unexpected. Maybe he was still asleep? Yea, this was all one weird nightmare. He hoped he'd wake up soon.  
"You always sought him out, Seifer. Wanting to be his equal, or perhaps.. be better. You mistook your attraction for hate and jealousy. Go to him, Seifer. You won't be whole until you do."  
She then rose, holding back a laugh as Seifer muttered, "...Whatever."  
  
--------  
Love lives, love dies  
It's no surprise  
Love begs, love pleads  
It's what I need  
  
Squall's forearms rested against the stone railing. He was up early, as had become his habit. No matter how much sleep he had gotten. Once dawn broke, he was out of bed. Usually he came here. So much had happened on this balcony. Quistis had come here once, to give him her last orders. And then last night, he had told Rinoa that he cared for her.   
  
Life had been normal, till he had gone to sleep. Then, he was dreaming. The scene at the docks played out in his mind again - except when Seifer had grabbed him, he'd also kissed him. Different then his other dreams, but not majorly so. He knew he had feelings for Seifer. Part of the reason why he had taken up the gunblade. To always have a reason to be next to him. However, Seifer had not felt the same way. Squall finally realized that the day he had received his scar. It had been more then anger driving him to return the same slash. It had been hurt. Pain, that Seifer would harm him.   
  
He heard Rinoa come up behind him, and sighed as she ran a hand down his back. He wasn't wearing his jacket, just a black tank. And those leather jeans.   
"Squall, what's troubling you?"  
"I saw Seifer last night...."   
  
Rinoa said nothing, just continued to stroke his back. Not in a sexual manner, instead it was comforting. She knew that he needed to talk, and she hoped he trusted her enough.   
"I invited him back to the Garden, Rin. It just.. isn't..."  
He fell silent, trying to think of the right words to say. Half of Rinoa's lips twitched upwards.  
"You care for him."  
"Rinoa.. I..."  
  
She patted his back, softly. "Shh, it's alright. I suspected, but I wasn't sure until now. It's somewhat messed up though."  
He glanced over at her, wondering what she could mean. Then it hit him. The color drained from his face. The two men she cared about, liked each other. Well, one liked the other.   
"Rin..."  
  
"Squall." Those chocolate orbs, compelling him to be quiet. Even at the dance, they had been mysterious-but now she held a power he knew nothing about. And so, her eyes were something to behold. Now, more so then before.  
"It is all right. You've opened yourself to me, more then I had hoped. If you care for Seifer.. you care for Seifer. I can accept that. What I couldn't accept, was a false love. So answer me this, Squall. Do you really care for me?"  
  
Squall nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He really did care for her, he did love her. But more then his yearn for Seifer? He did not know. And he had no way to find out, because Seifer detested him.  
"Then go to him." Rinoa whispered, reaching out to trace a line down his cheek.  
"Find out how he truely feels. If he doesn't love you, I still do. And if he does, then I am happy. For you both. But make no mistake.. I will hold you to your promise."  
"Rinoa... I don't deserve you..."  
  
She shook her head, and then hugged him. His arms wrapped around her waist, as he breathed in the rose scent of her hair. Why couldn't life be easy? He was a hero, saved the world and the girl...   
"No, Squall. Don't say that. You deserve to be happy. And not abandoned again. That's why.. no matter what.. I will be here for you. Even if you and Seifer end up together, and I find someone else to love. I will always be your Angel, and you will always be my Knight."  
"Thank you..."  
Squall whispered, wishing that for once, Seifer hadn't taken his heart. Rinoa was the perfect girl, and he was throwing away a chance that he would never get again. She was right - he needed to find out how Seifer really felt. But, he wouldn't go, per her advice. He'd wait. Let Seifer come to him, instead of the one being led around.  
  
If you've got love in your sights  
Watch out, love bites  
Yes it does  
It will be hell  
  
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Dislaimer: Squaresoft owns the people, Def Leppard- The lyrics. "Love Bites." So, please review. ^_^ Tell me if you hated it or loved it. What I should change. Any helpful tips? Also, I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed. (I was soo nervous to post this part, still am. ^^;;) Also, next chapter will have a bit more action, I promise.   
  



	3. 

I hear you calling and it's needles and pins (And pins)  
I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name  
Don't want to touch you but you're under my skin (Deep in)  
I want to kiss you but your lips are venomous poison  
--Alice Cooper, Poison  
  
  
That evening:  
  
Seifer once again was sitting on the docks. However, he was dressed a little more casual then last night. His usual trench coat was missing, along with his steel capped boots. He was wearing a white tee tucked into low slung black jeans. He was leaning back, propped up on his elbows. A light breeze ruffled his hair, and he smiled slightly. It was peaceful. He was also trying to get his mind off what Fujin had told him earlier. However, Seifer didn't know he wasn't alone till a hand came to rest upon his shoulder.  
  
He jumped about ten feet in the air, glaring at the person who had dared to sneak up on him.   
"Were you trying to kill me?!"  
Rinoa was laughing hysterically, so she wasn't able to answer his question right away. While his heartbeat returned to normal, he tried to ignore the girl who was gasping for air just a few inches away from him.  
"You know. I've heard that breathing is important..."  
Rinoa's fit of giggles finally subsided, and she waved a hand at Seifer.  
"Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to sneak up on you. You looked so peaceful, and I didn't want to say anything..."  
  
"Uh-huh. What are you doing here, anyway?"  
He folded his arms across his chest, studying her intently. Rinoa rolled her eyes at the set expression in his face and stance.  
"Don't worry. I'm here alone. Squall told me he asked you back to the Garden last night."  
Seifer's eyes widened slightly then returned to their usual narrow, hawk like state. If she hadn't been paying attention, she wouldn't have caught it.   
"Why don't you come back? Edea did.. and your family is there..."  
"What family? My family is here. Fujin and Raijin."  
"Seifer, you grew up with them. Even after everything that's happened, I think they would welcome you back. You weren't yourself."  
Then she smiled.  
"Or are you scared? Hmm? Scared of Squall?"   
If such a thing was possible, Seifer's eyes narrowed even further. Amber hued sparks lit up those emerald orbs of his. Bingo.   
"I *fear* nothing. Not life, not death. Not Squall."  
"But what of your emotions, Seifer?"  
He frowned. What could she mean? Then - that. He groaned softly, lowering his gaze. "Not you too. Fujin was harping on me about it earlier."  
  
Rinoa just waited, listening. A breeze once again danced around them, as Seifer looked over the water. Seeing the moonlight dance off the waves had a calming effect on him.  
"Did he put you up to this?"  
"No. You know how Squall is. Stubborn to a fault. Rather like you."  
Seifer's gaze swung back to her. "He said that too." A pause.  
"Last night, when we talked. Fujin mentioned it this morning as well. Do you two and Quistis have something cooked up?"  
  
Rinoa laughed again, softly and shook her head.  
"No. I had a feeling that Squall cared for you, but I wasn't sure until he told me earlier today. Why don't you give it a chance, Seifer? Go past the rivalry, if you can. Go past what happened on that fateful duel. After all.. I bet it hurt him as much as it did you when he slashed you."  
  
Now it was Seifer's turn to arch an eyebrow. He hadn't been expecting Squall to rise up and give him a matching scar. In fact, he couldn't remember why he had done, except to teach him a lesson perhaps. Instead, they branded each other, forever.  
"Will you?" Rinoa asked, softly. He nodded. Rinoa held out a hand, which Seifer accepted. "He's on the beach, I'll take you there."  
The air around them rippled, as they appeared on the beach. Seifer could barely make out Squall's form, for he was standing about a mile away. He could however, seen the blue sheen of the Lionheart gunblade. Rinoa squeezed his hand.  
"Good luck."  
He turned to look at her, but she was already gone. And he frowned at the sudden weight on his hands. He looked down, and saw that he was in his trademark clothing. And Hyperion was waiting for him, blade buried in the sand. He gripped the slim handle of the revolver, and pulled it out the sand. The moonlight glinted off the edges of the silver tipped blade, and he smiled. Then he strode the beach.  
  
Squall was practicing against invisible enemies. He had seen Zell do it enough times as a warm-up before a battle. Zell had explained that it wasn't just 'swatting flies'.   
  
"You gotta imagine yourself in a battle. Pretend it's someone ya know. See them in your mind. Their moves, how they evade.. how they attack. Imagine yourself blocking a move, then attacking as they block. It's good practice. Helps you become one with the blade."  
Squall had actually smirked at that last comment. But he had said thanks anyway. And now, he actually found it to be good advice. He was able to work out tension while doing this, since he didn't have a true sparring partner.   
  
Now, since his eyes were closed he didn't hear Seifer approach. What he could hear, were the gentle sounds of the waves kissing the shore. Of his blade cutting through the air. So, when he swung his blade in a low upward arc, only to hear it clang against another object made of metal - his eyes opened in shock.  
Seifer stood there, Hyperion in an upright position. In one hand. It reminded Squall of that duel, and he slowly lowered the Lionheart.  
"Seifer."  
"Squall."  
  
And with those two words, blades once against met. Seifer smiled as they had moved in unison. Attacking and blocking at the same time.  
"Are we dueling again, or is there another reason for your visit?"  
Squall asked, eyes as dark as the Hyperion blade. Seifer lifted one shoulder, then spoke softly. "You said I would have to seek you out, Squall."  
Squall blinked, lowering his gunblade again. He was fighting to keep his hands from trembling. "So, you're admitting that you need me?"  
A cocky grin spread over Seifer's lips. "No, I'm saying that you need me."  
  
Squall's eyebrow arched up again, and Seifer blocked with Hyperion just in time. They pushed against each other, the blades crossing till they were face to face. It reminded Seifer of last night, and he almost laughed. However, when he looked into Squall's eyes, he was reminded of the calm which watching the moonlight gave him. Perhaps it was the moon, for it was a full moon tonight. Maybe it was an after affect of Time Compression. Or maybe it was just the way Squall's lower lip trembled ever so slightly. Seifer leaned forward, brushing his lips against the younger boy's.   
  
Squall's eyes widened slightly, before he returned the kiss. Although, he was a bit hesitant, not believing this to be real and not a dream. Seifer bit his lower lip gently, causing Squall to gasp. However, once Seifer's tongue teased his own, Squall knew it was real and closed his eyes.  
  
Seifer couldn't believe that he was actually kissing Squall. It was nothing like the kiss in his dream. That one had been rather bland. Squall's lips were soft against his own, and he tasted of chocolate. Only a few knew about his passion for the sweet stuff. He broke the kiss off gently, leaning back. Squall opened his eyes, and Seifer smiled at him, then spoke softly.  
"I can't promise you anything, Squall."  
"We.. We'll take it slowly."   
Before Seifer could reply, Squall kissed him again.  
  
  
From their hidden viewpoint, Rinoa and Fujin watched.  
"Ahh. A happy ending, I love those."  
Rinoa hugged herself, while Fujin rolled one eye. However, she too- was glad Seifer had finally admitted his true feelings towards his rival.  
"Well, Fujin. Let's go. Raijin's waiting for you right? I hope he and Zell didn't eat all the hot dogs already."  
"Agreed."  
The two girls started to leave, but Rinoa took one last glance over her shoulder. The two figures were embracing still, gunblades at their sides. Rinoa smiled again, even though her view was a little misty. Then she followed Fujin back to the Garden.  
  
  
  
----  
And - that's it. Ahh, first kisses. ^^ I hope everyone enjoyed. I might try to write another or perhaps a sequel to this if people want. Thanks for reviewing, if you do so. Hugs her proofreaders This is for you two, hope it was sappy enough. ~_^  
Disclaimer: Squaresoft owns the boys and the girls. The lyrics belong to Alice Cooper. Dunno why I put them in, but it's what I was listening to when I wrote this.  



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